Bumper Update
Below is the much anticipated bumper photo. You might want to click on the picture to enlarge it so you get the full effect.
Here is a brief description of each sticker starting from left to right:
1. [Alien inside of New Mexico state symbol] (Roswell, NM). We bought it from a crazy old hippy in Roswell and received a free walk through her homemade alien vortex chamber (a 2 dollar value). This shows our intense love of aliens and the fact we went to New Mexico.
2. [Drunken Hillbilly Rat floating down what we assume is the Yakima River] (Outside Lake Havasu, AZ). When you really think about it aren't we all just Drunken Hillbilly Rats floating down the Yakima River...
3. [Mexican Wrestling mask, with the title El Sancho] (Ensenada, Mexico). This really gets to the heart of Spencer’s two passions in life: The study of the Spanish language and putting a mask on and wrestling strangers. Spencer told me that El Sancho literally translates to: a wrestler of low quality; the kind of guy who wouldn’t know a Mexican arm drag from a Japanese arm drag.
4. [The sticker reads “Flashbacks are all I have to look forward to”] (Lake Havesu, AZ). Shows that all we have to look forward to are our acid flashbacks. This is not only true, but also a direct quote I heard from our guidance counselor, Richard.
5. [Meatloaf] (Ensenada, Mexico). Pretty self-explanatory.
6. [Route 66] (Somewhere in Arizona). Nothing interesting about this sticker.
7. [A coyote standing next to a Joshua Tree] (Joshua Tree National Park, CA). First place we ever experienced acid and the beginning of our uncontrollable upward spiral towards enlightenment/unemployment.
8. [Death Valley] (Death Valley, CA). This was the sticker that started the whole bumper sticker revolution.
9. [Gatorade symbol that says “Radiate the light of Christ”] (Little Caesar’s San Antonio, Texas). This was an attempt to show our love of delicious Gatorade brand sports drink. We were later shocked to discover that it was actually a cleverly disguised piece of rightwing religious propaganda. For the record not once has Jesus quenched my thirst after a big game.
10. [A Texas long horn symbol colored in like the Texas Flag] (Austin, Texas). Hook ‘Em Horns
11. [A disgusting sticker that is just about to fall off that reads “Dirt Logic”] (Esenada, Mexico). You might not believe me, but this one was FREE. All I had to do was pick it off a dirty old unflushed toilet in Mexico. Sweet deal! It signifies my love of the movie Joe Dirt and the fact that I have almost no regard for personal hygiene.
12. [Mario style mushrooms that says 1-up] (Ensenada, Mexico). We like mushrooms; that’s cool, right guys???
13. [A blue and yellow sticker that reads “I’d rather be swimmin’, with bare naked women!”] (Cabazon, CA). I bought this for Spencer; in exchange he promised to stop telling me that he would rather be swimmin’ with bare naked women.
14. [Amador Bail Bonds “Came on Vacation, Stuck on Probation”] (Roswell, NM). This was purchased for practical use. You never know when you are gonna need a good bonds man. This was reinforced by the fact that our last vacation together did end with us both on probation. Thanks again Chelan County District Court.
15. [Says Gila Cliff Dwellings and has a picture of a cliff dwelling] (Gila Cliff Dwellings, NM). We went there.
16. and 17. [16. A stick figure of a man in a wheel chair getting a blowjob. 17. The universal Anti symbol.] (Roswell, NM). The crown jewel of our collection was created by combining two stickers. The end result is us finally taking the strong stand that, “you know what, maybe we don’t really want a guy in a wheelchair getting his dick sucked. Maybe we might just do anything in our power to stop it from happening.”
1. [Alien inside of New Mexico state symbol] (Roswell, NM). We bought it from a crazy old hippy in Roswell and received a free walk through her homemade alien vortex chamber (a 2 dollar value). This shows our intense love of aliens and the fact we went to New Mexico.
2. [Drunken Hillbilly Rat floating down what we assume is the Yakima River] (Outside Lake Havasu, AZ). When you really think about it aren't we all just Drunken Hillbilly Rats floating down the Yakima River...
3. [Mexican Wrestling mask, with the title El Sancho] (Ensenada, Mexico). This really gets to the heart of Spencer’s two passions in life: The study of the Spanish language and putting a mask on and wrestling strangers. Spencer told me that El Sancho literally translates to: a wrestler of low quality; the kind of guy who wouldn’t know a Mexican arm drag from a Japanese arm drag.
4. [The sticker reads “Flashbacks are all I have to look forward to”] (Lake Havesu, AZ). Shows that all we have to look forward to are our acid flashbacks. This is not only true, but also a direct quote I heard from our guidance counselor, Richard.
5. [Meatloaf] (Ensenada, Mexico). Pretty self-explanatory.
6. [Route 66] (Somewhere in Arizona). Nothing interesting about this sticker.
7. [A coyote standing next to a Joshua Tree] (Joshua Tree National Park, CA). First place we ever experienced acid and the beginning of our uncontrollable upward spiral towards enlightenment/unemployment.
8. [Death Valley] (Death Valley, CA). This was the sticker that started the whole bumper sticker revolution.
9. [Gatorade symbol that says “Radiate the light of Christ”] (Little Caesar’s San Antonio, Texas). This was an attempt to show our love of delicious Gatorade brand sports drink. We were later shocked to discover that it was actually a cleverly disguised piece of rightwing religious propaganda. For the record not once has Jesus quenched my thirst after a big game.
10. [A Texas long horn symbol colored in like the Texas Flag] (Austin, Texas). Hook ‘Em Horns
11. [A disgusting sticker that is just about to fall off that reads “Dirt Logic”] (Esenada, Mexico). You might not believe me, but this one was FREE. All I had to do was pick it off a dirty old unflushed toilet in Mexico. Sweet deal! It signifies my love of the movie Joe Dirt and the fact that I have almost no regard for personal hygiene.
12. [Mario style mushrooms that says 1-up] (Ensenada, Mexico). We like mushrooms; that’s cool, right guys???
13. [A blue and yellow sticker that reads “I’d rather be swimmin’, with bare naked women!”] (Cabazon, CA). I bought this for Spencer; in exchange he promised to stop telling me that he would rather be swimmin’ with bare naked women.
14. [Amador Bail Bonds “Came on Vacation, Stuck on Probation”] (Roswell, NM). This was purchased for practical use. You never know when you are gonna need a good bonds man. This was reinforced by the fact that our last vacation together did end with us both on probation. Thanks again Chelan County District Court.
15. [Says Gila Cliff Dwellings and has a picture of a cliff dwelling] (Gila Cliff Dwellings, NM). We went there.
16. and 17. [16. A stick figure of a man in a wheel chair getting a blowjob. 17. The universal Anti symbol.] (Roswell, NM). The crown jewel of our collection was created by combining two stickers. The end result is us finally taking the strong stand that, “you know what, maybe we don’t really want a guy in a wheelchair getting his dick sucked. Maybe we might just do anything in our power to stop it from happening.”
2 comments:
Check out who made it into the crappy Pacific Magazine they put into the Sunday paper:
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/ABPub/2007/04/18/2003671779.jpg
Here's the story:
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/pacificnw04292007/2003677535_pacificpyoyo29.html
Why shouldn't a guy in a wheelchair be able to get his dick sucked? I mean seriously, clearly the guy isn't fucking, so you want to neutralize the one bit of leverage he has over a woman (or Tristan) for getting a blowjob? I just don't understand you guys anymore, you've changed!!!
p.s. where the fuck did you find that sticker without the anti sticker?
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