Hollywood Hangover

After our overwhelming brush with fame in L.A. we needed some time to recover. In true boondoggler fashion we ended up spending a full day eating free food and hanging out around Corey’s uncle’s house. Later that night my friend Kata randomly called and told me that she just happened to be staying with some relatives 15 minutes away in Irvine. I suspect that she was following me but I don’t have the proof to confirm that. We agreed to meet up at some brewery which was home to the world’s most extensive and overpriced selection of beers in the world. We went with the sampler, a great deal at only nine bucks for six thimbles full of beer. The highlight was the local hemp beer that tasted rather similar to a combination of bong water and urine. It reminded me of that time when I pulled the classic prank of peeing in my bong and then tricking my brother into drinking it. That idiot drank the entire concoction in one monster gulp. If you ask me, I think he actually liked it. And the best part is, I don’t even have a brother…I’m the one who drank the piss…I drank piss water!!!!* The rest of the night was fairly uneventful but I hadn’t seen Kata in quite some time so it was nice being able to catch up with her and even better to finally talk to someone who didn’t bring up his Delta Chi presidency every five fucking minutes.

The next morning we realized that one day on the couch was enough so we decided to get things moving and ask the moon beads whether we should travel to Mexico or begin our journey East. The verdict was Mexico. Neither of us particularly wanted to go to Mexico but we feared the repercussions of disobeying the beads so we hopped in the car and headed south. We drove straight into Mexico and then stopped in a town named Rosarita for lunch. I attempted to order us some tortas de carne but I must have mispronounced something because they ended up serving us sandwiches de dog food. We were a little disappointed by the mix up but were still very excited about our Mexican adventure so we headed out south towards Ensenada. We got into town about an hour later and I was able to successfully use my Spanish skills to score us a room for only $28 at Hotel Cucaracha.** After we had our room secured we headed out for what would prove to be the lamest night in the history of people going to Mexico. I won’t waste your time recounting our night, but let’s just say that it ended with an Eighter of Modelo Especial Superbowl XXXVII Commemorative Cans back at the Cucaracha Inn (Go Bucs!). Though I must say if you haven’t already done so, please go do yourself a favor and see Eddie Murphy pull off several brilliant and underappreciated performances in the modern comedy classic, Norbit, surprisingly even better the fifth time around.


The trip wasn’t a complete waste, however, as the next day we were lucky enough to get our hands on a limited edition Meatloaf bumper sticker which instantly became the highlight of our Road Trippin Bumper. As Corey drove back to California I employed my old trick of finishing off an Eighter of Vintage Buccaneer Beers and then passing out in order to avoid my driving responsibilities. When I came to again we were at Corey’s uncle’s place. We refueled with a delicious dinner and a couple beers and prepared to begin the eastern leg of our misguided American adventure.


*One piece of Road Trippin Memorabilia will be awarded to the first person to correctly identify the movie that I stole this bit from.

**Named by Corey, whose bed was home to a large tribe of cucarachas***.

***When his initial attempts at diplomacy failed miserably he reverted back to his old Blackfoot ways and waged all out genocide on the cucaracha tribe. I fear that this may develop into a serious problem if we come across more confrontational tribes.

Editor’s Note: If you are in the humorous blog business, do not attempt to write a post at 4 a.m. with a head full of ‘ludes.


-Spencer