Jake's Gunshop

After saying goodbye to Sam we had one more stop to make in Washington before crossing the border into Oregon. This final stop was, of course, to see our old fraternity brother Jake “The Snake” Hoseman. Jake had moved back home to Vancouver, WA after graduating from college to single-handedly run his family’s gun shop (his brother is one apple that fell far from the tree when it comes to gun shop management). I really don’t think I can accurately describe Jake but here are some key facts about him:

a) He runs a gun shop
b) He gets paid in ammunition
c) He will kill you

d) His dad is the Bass Player for Vancouver’s best classic rock cover band, “The Randy Band” (very funny and may be explained in later posts)
e) He hates liberals/gun bans
f) He is engaged to his college sweetheart (Wedding is next St. Patrick’s day so you better start kissing his ass if you want one of the coveted invitations)
g) He once warned me to “not count my sheep” in an attempt to keep my burgeoning mega-ego in check.

For some reason no one we knew had Jake’s contact info so we decided to just call all gun shops in the Greater Vancouver Area (GVA) and ask for Jake. Destiny worked her magic and on our second call (out of a possible 30 gun shops in the GVA) we heard Jakes cheery, newly professionalized voice. He gave us directions but we probably could have found it easily on our own due to its prime gun shop location (in a strip mall right between a European hair salon and a sushi restaurant). Our visit with Jake was short, yet extremely interesting and informative. First and foremost we learned that C&C Gunshop, and Jake by extension, are very concerned about them politician types attempting to enact a gun ban on semi automatic weaponry in Vancouver. Second we learned fully automatic rifles are no longer able to be legally enjoyed in Washington State, thanks again liberals. As we were leaving, Jake offered us a token of friendship to aid us on our adventures: a large, magnetic Support Our Troops ribbon. We were happy to have acquired our first addition to the road trippin bumper* and even happier to let America know that we support the American army enough to place an easily removable endorsement on our car. In conclusion, if you or anyone you know are in the market for a semi-auto AK-47 we suggest getting down to the C&C Gun Shop in Vancouver, WA before the ban goes into effect. (Jake if you read this please keep us updated on the shop and Randy Band)



After our reconnection with Jake we started out on our drive to Corvalis, OR to stay with our Delta Chi brothers at Oregon State University. Along the way we stopped at the Willamette Valley Vineyards to do some wine tasting. The wine was excellent, our new friend Harold’s advice of what casinos and golf courses to visit was even better. With a belly full of wine and a BAC slightly over the legal limit we followed poorly placed signs to Silver Falls, an hour out of our way. It might just be the Richards talking but I found the falls to be quite breathtaking.
Once we arrived at OSU we began what turned out to be a very eventful night. Fist up we watched the brothers lose 13-0 in an indoor soccer game against a team full of arrogant Kuwaitis (to my knowledge, the only type of Kuwaitis). We then went to bed immediately in an attempt to avoid any further interaction with our new friends.


*A few months ago I got hit by an out of control 18-wheeler during an ice storm. It didn’t really do any damage except it made a small dent in my bumper. Since it wasn’t my fault the trucking company is paying for a new bumper. The cool thing about this is that it allows us to completely cover my bumper with every retarded bumper sticker we find throughout our journey. I assume by the time we get to the Deep South our bumper sticker collection will be good for at least a couple ass beatings. We will keep you posted as it comes together.


-Corey